Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Ten Sure Signs You're Getting Old

i apologise for the click bait title. however, this is something that has been propping up in my mind a lot of late. these....things keep occurring, little moments that happen on a day to day basis that make me stop in my tracks and think 

'hey. you're getting old'

i'm in no means over the hill at 23, and i realise a lot of you may roll your eyes at this post and see me as a mere child, but 23 is the first year of my life that i've noticed a considerable change in my mind. no longer am i the crazy 19 year old fresher, drinking jaegar PINTS on a weekly basis and staying out until 5am, then rolling in fresh faced to a 9am lecture. does anyone else feel the same?

1 - you now like olives and dark chocolate.
a night in treat for you would be a big old bar of 70% cocoa and a delicious tub of olives, maybe mixed in with some feta cheese and sundried tomatoes if you're feeling daring. your palate has somewhat expanded from the 'super noodles and chips' menu of 2011, and as you throw your head back and thank jesus for those salty, spherical pieces of happiness, the 18 year old inside you retches. you do you. 

2 - almost crying with happiness at a night in.
sure, we aren't total bores. sometimes we pop out to a club to moan about the noise and why they don't play blue anymore, but is there any better feeling than getting in from work on a friday, knowing that the night is yours. you don't have to paint yourself in foundation, stick some weird lashes on your eyes, and down expensive shots of sambucca (because chances are you don't live in a student town anymore), you can slip into your bobbly pyjamas, stick on netflix and enjoy a big old bowl of pasta. heck. you might even buy some wine just for yo'self to enjoy, who knows where it could take you. just take your bra off and enjoy the friday freedom of no plans. 

3 - booking time off work to do your chores.
we live in a 24/7 world, and we are busy people. or, lazy people. after a long slog at work, or a big old gym session (or, most likely, sacking off important things to go to pop up bars in London), we can't be bothered to do LOADS of adult things. so thank god for annual leave. taking a day off on a monday or friday, and as  your colleagues ask you if you're doing anything nice, you reply with 'life admin', and they nod in a knowing way. you sort your washing, get your eyebrows done, do the weekly shop, maybe even hoover your flat if you pushing the boat out. we need these days to sort out busy lives, and make sure our eyebrow game doesn't slip. because that will NEVER not be important.

4 - tutting at school children you see not wearing coats in the winter.
as i write this, it's 3.30 on a foggy, wintery tuesday afternoon, and i can hear the hustle and bustle of school children waiting for the bus outside my house. as i glance outside my window (not in a weird way), i can see at least 5 children without coats, one even has bare legs. i hope you are all tutting along with me. where are their mothers? where are their fathers? are they not FREEZING TO DEATH?! the thought slips through my mind of 'if i ever have a child, they will ALWAYS wear a coat.' i realise i am basically middle aged and eat another olive. 

5 - putting down that top from zara to do a food shop.
sure, there is a time and a place for a new floral shirt with rips in it from zara, and that day is usually the euphoria that surrounds payday. it is not on the 17th of the month when cash is tight, and girl needs some food in her life. you pop into zara on your way to tesco, and see a £24.99 top that you definitely need. you deserve it, you tell yourself, god this is what i work for isn't it???? but as you approach the till, you remember that food comes first, and place it back down and mope out the shop, cursing yourself for being so damn sensible. 

6 - congratulating a friend on a pregnancy/engagement
a close friend gets engaged, or announces that they are pregnant, and instead of a shocked sigh and 'omg have you told your mum yet??' you realise that people are...congratulating them? saying well done? oh that's right, we aren't 16 anymore and that's just what people do in their twenties. still. this one is always going to be a little bit weird, seeing that chick who used to do shots off strangers belly buttons burping down a baby and wearing a fleece. #adulthood 

7 - talking more about mortgages/politics and money with your friends than gossip
you all know the feeling, your whatsapp group conversations used to be full of hilarious banter from the night before, and conversations prepping your friend for her next date with 'next door john'. but these days, it's more 'what's stamp duty?...OMG brexit tho...are any of you still in your overdraft?!' and more exciting topics of conversation. oh, and btw, your friend is now married to next door john. time flies. 

8 - not CARING about people from your year on Facebook anymore
there was a time when snooping on vicky from your year 9 textiles class was fun, and laughing at criminal lewis' latest Facebook status was a hoot, but these days...well, you really don't care anymore. you'd rather fill your timeline with people you know, like, and care about. although we'll let you keep that one person who is just too good to delete. 

9 - hangovers getting worse and metabolism not being your friend anymore 
when we do go out, gosh darn do we pay for it. those university hangovers (aka an extra hour in bed, some cheese on toast + you're ready to go) are a thing of the past, and these days if you stay out past 2am you're done for the next 2 days at least. saturday is a day of misery in bed, possible puke, and copious carbs. sunday is spent doing all the things you wish you'd done saturday, still feeling slightly shaky. oh, and those carbs you consume stay on your hips for at least 5 years. we just can't hack it anymore.

10 - for christmas asking for duvet sets and heated blankets. 
and lastly, you've started asking for practical things for christmas. a nice, egyptian cotton bed set, a heated blanket, or maybe even a contribution to your house fund, rather than a sparkly new eyeshadow set or sky high heels. also, when did it get so hard to decide on a present?! people are WILLINGLY buying you a gift, and you can no longer decide? what happened to us.

of course, we still ask our mums how many paracetamols we should take and if you can freeze salmon....but aren't are all getting on?

until next time xo 



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