Friday, 17 June 2016

the f word

hi, i'm louisa. i'm a daughter, a sister, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend, a graduate, a girlfriend, an enemy, an acquaintance, a colleague, a senior executive, a laugh, a bore, a stranger, a kardashian enthusiast, a lover of glitter, a book worm...

and i am also a feminist. 

which one of those labels puts you off me the most? is it enemy, as this alludes to the fact there may be some aspects of my personality that may not be as sweet as i look (and god damn it i'm sweet as a jelly bean). is it a bore, as this makes you think maybe i'm a little bit dull? is it kardashian enthusiast, as you would rather stick pins in your eyes than watch their show and bother with their life (trust me you are missing out)... or is it that i am a feminist, as you now imagine me to hate all men, have lots of opinions and probably don't wear bras and have proper hairy armpits. (2 of those statements are partially correct...guess.)

i feel that there needs to be a reeducation around the f word. people recoil from it, don't want to be associated, and panic if anyone brings the topic up around them. others think they know, and harp on about a topic they sort of kind of know so they blast men and think wow my sisters please join me on our harmonious journey to equality by spitting on this man who held the door open for me what a PIG. 

this needs to stop.

to quote chimanda ngozi adiche (and yes, i did hear this in flawless by beyonce. she educates me daily), feminism is the social, economic and political equality between the sexes. to put in other terms, if you believe that women and men should be equal on ALL levels, you are (to an extent) a feminist. that is it. and, quite frankly, in 2016 human beings should accept this as a natural state of the union.

men can be feminists. women can (and in my mind, should be feminists), women who like the colour pink can be feminists, men who open the door for women can be feminists, stay at home mums can be feminists, female CEO's can be feminists, lesbians can be feminists, straight women can be feminists, women who dance along to blurred lines and swoon over channing tatum CAN be feminists.

do you see where i'm going here?

it is no longer ok to associate a feminist as a boob swinging, shaven headed warrior who HATES men and thinks women are BETTER. this is a media created image of an extremity to cause division within a society, like they do with muslims and immigrants too. it's there to scare you into not thinking logically, because quite frankly a well spoken, well dressed and non offensive feminist doesn't sell papers, does it?

we are women of all shapes, sizes, sexualities, ethnicities, personalities. you do not have to denounce your femininity if you choose to accept this label that makes up PART of your identity. it's ok to wear pink, blush when a boy gives you a compliment, and find yourself singing along to all sorts of misogynistic songs. as long as it's your choice. it's also ok to be a stay at home mum, clean the house and provide for your family. as long as it's your choice. feminism should not discriminate the life options of the women it encounters, we are all battling for the same cause - equality.

celebrities have in the past shuddered and steered away from the term when asked in interviews, taylor swift and megan trainor being two women who turned their heads when asked... only to later admit they didn't understand the term, and realised they are. if women in the spotlight aren't aware, how do we expect teenagers to know? we need to stop with the stereotypes, and be there with the facts to encourage a new generation to say yes to feminism, and be aware of what it truly is.

obviously, we are fighting for equality, and we aren't quite there yet. but we are a hell of a lot further than we used to be when the fight started, and than other countries where women can't drive cars, play sports, or are stoned in the streets for showing an ankle. there is a fight to win, but it is for equality, not for one sex to conquer the other.

so remember. a feminist loves men, loves women, loves all genders. they can also hate certain men, women and all other things. they are people who simply want an equal chance at life. some are more vocal than others in the fight, and for reasons they feel are necessary. some don't campaign or protest, but would accept the label if given. both options are cool. just know there are options.

i hope this makes sense, and has helped in a way. after all, feminism isn't the worst f word you could be called.

until next time xo 



  1. Loved reading this post, you've written it so well and I agree with everything you've said! I'm a feminist but still find it quite difficult to outwardly say it sometimes, because I feel like it has so many bad/ old fashioned connotations that just aren't correct anymore. Like you said feminism is about equal rights for everyone, not one gender competing and hating on the other!

    Millie x // Millie’s Wardrobe

  2. As for me, I never know the true meaning of feminist since I avoided being associated with people who's a feminist. But this kinda lighten me up. Thank you for your voice~

    Mari |

  3. Fab post! I totally agree with your definition, equality for both sexes is at the heart of feminism. Celebrities should be acting as role models for feminism so there isn't a stigma attached to it x

    Everything But The Kitchen


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