Our partners are there for us through thick and thin. In the tough times, when you’re snotty and weeping about that passive aggressive email you received at work…the ugly times, where you’ve got enough spots for Clearsil to be wiped out of business and you MAY have a wee stain on your pyjama bottoms…and the good times, when you’re feeling super fly and boo sends you flowers just because.
But there are some things that just don’t fly with our partners.
I call these ‘the twenty something times’. The times where you, a twenty something sassy woman livin your life like Ricky Martin (AKA, da vida loca), strut your stuff and buy the trends that are straight outta Vogue, and you just know that if you were spotted on Carnaby Street in your attire you’d DEFFO be snapped for a street style… and your partner looks at you like they’re regretting every penny they’ve spent on you.
You know what I’m talking about right? Like…
1 – When you wear anything remotely baggy. I can only speak from the experience of a straight woman, but I’ve found that boys do not get the baggy thing. When we think we look crazy sophisticated, chic and almost Parisian in our baggy smock tops and dresses – boys just see sacks of nothing. My boyfriend calls it my ghost outfits. Keep rocking those smocks gals, it definitely makes us feel thinner right? (although photos do not always do this justice, and maybe they’re right when we’re shocked into looking ten sizes bigger than we are)
2 – Lipstick/lipgloss. Whilst we feel like Kylie Jenner, spend all of our wages on different shades of nude lipsticks from Mac, and rock that intense purple shade because we are the bomb… boys aren’t all too fussed. They find it sticky, and some colours just a bit strange. They also hate getting it on their cheeks, it isn’t the stud symbol that boys in grotty clubs love, and it’s actually a bit embarrassing for them. But hey, when Ruby Woo looks THAT good…who cares?!
3 – Creepers, or anything with a platform. I absolutely love my Adidas creeper trainers, and back in the day adored my black creepers. They are edgy, and if Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day wore them – they’re a winner. However, boys tend to associate them with the ‘goth’ culture (which is so hot right now btw) and dismiss you as a descendant of Marilyn Manson. Rock your extra height with pride girls, you got this.
4 – Culottes. They’re baggy. They’re cropped. They may as well be from outer space. Boys simply do not get them, and will never get them. It’s cool, we will never get why they insist on wearing ‘MALAGA ’12: KRAZY BOIZ’ t-shirts 4 year on – some things are not meant to be understood.
5 – And lastly, jumpsuits and playsuits. I think deep down we don’t get them either, and until they invent them with handy flaps for going to the loo, they will continue to be a bit of a pain…but we can’t resist those floaty playsuits in the Summer, and God don’t we all love a tailored jumpsuit for an office meeting?! Boys however see a glorified onesie. Despite the fact we are all secretly huddled shivering naked in the loo when we rock these garms, let’s not lose sight of the fact that they make us look damn good.
But…underneath it all, they’re normally good eggs who like all your Instagram photos, tell you you look banging when you head out with the girls, and think you look your best when you’re make up free in your Winnie the Pooh pyjama top from year 8. N’awh – they’re still our faves.
After all, men are from mars, women are from venus. We don’t have to understand each other, as long as we are happy ourselves.
Let culottes reign forever.
Until next time xo