this is a weird post, but as a recent graduate surrounded by Facebook posts of all my friends revising for exams, there's a strange nostalgia surrounding revision. i actually MISS it, in a weird and surprising way. does anyone else feel the same?
1 - new stationary. any self-respecting academic knows that revision cannot begin until you have a new pack of sharpies, gel pens (scented, preferably) and some coloured flash cards. and it DEFINITELY can't begin until you've written your name in every colour, and also arranged them nicely for an instagram photo with the hashtag #revision #hardwork #studying...even though you are doing none of these things.
2 - treating yourself because you deserve it. i miss buying myself ridiculous presents with money that i definitely didn't have because i read 2 chapters of a book i should have read a year ago. this included copious amounts of make up, dresses, and most of all, expensive food from m&s. girl gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
3 - revision groups. or, in my case, meeting up with my friends, going on the daily mail every 10 minutes, and talking about whether we should/should not go to nandos tonight. you know it's true.
4 - lunch. and second lunch, and third lunch. if you drag yourself to the library for 9am, you know that lovingly made sandwich and well-intentioned carrot sticks are getting eaten by 10.30. and then you know you're dragging yourself to tesco for their sweet sweet meal deal by 12pm. and by 3pm, you're in the SU ordering a jacket potato. you gotta stay refuelled.
5 - discussing how out of order all lecturers are. it's definitely their fault you don't get the syllabus, and it's DEFINITELY their fault that you didn't read that book when you were supposed. such a rubbish uni, definitely not your fault...
6 - entitlement in the library. towards peak exam season, the library is the place to be. and when you're actually in revision zone, you feel that the library is your palace, and so clearly the seats with computers and plug sockets belong to you. and the people sat opposite you gossiping should get. the. hell. out. it's a quiet zone for a reason people, some of us are trying to cram a whole year into 2 days.
7 - bonding over stress. it was always a nice feeling coming home, making your dinner, and chatting with your housemates about OMGZ HOW STRESSFUL IS REVISION I DON'T KNOW IT I'M GONNA GET A THIRD whilst you boil your 20p pasta, as you spent all your money on truffles from m&s in your treating frenzy.
8 - smugness before you go into the exam. as you wait nervously outside the exam room, it was always a time to out-do your fellow students. it was a great feeling when you could flip your hair talking about a theorist you know off by heart, and didn't you know that there were 3 different essays in this one?...
9 - and the panic when you don't know anything... this is a weird one to miss, but there was something exciting about thinking 'oh my god i literally don't know anything.' before walking into an exam. it's a feeling i haven't had since, literally like i was about to burst into tears/walk out of the exam.
10 - and finally, actually finishing an exam. as you pass that nervous stage of thinking all knowledge has fallen out of your brain, and curse yourself for looking at the daily mail before you came in as now you can only think about kendall jenner's new jeans, you actually OPEN your exam paper. you see the questions. you think, huh, i know this!!! you write and write and write for 3 hours until your hand LITERALLY TURNS RED (i mean, who writes for 3 hours on the trot????? monks???) and you're done. you put that pen down, somewhat loudly so EVERYONE know you're done, and you breathe a sigh of relief. you did it, champ.
so third years, second years, first years, a level student, gcse students, while you may think i'm crazy for writing this, maybe one day when you've graduated or finished with education, you'll relate to this, and remember those gel pen scented days full of stress and good food. #nostalgia
until next time xo