Underneath all of the fantastic memories, the Tuesday lie-ins, the endless parties, the acceptable dress up, University left us graduates set up for a massive fall. Behind the initial pride of being able to say ‘yes, I’m a recent graduate’, there is also a huge pain as you realise you are now a graduate. Not a student. And being a graduate comes with its own pitfalls…
1 – Everyone expects you to know every. Single. Word. In the English dictionary. And when you can’t answer what Hepaticocholangiocholecystenterostomies means, you are met with disgusted stares, and ‘Didn’t you do an English degree?’ snorts. I didn’t sit and STUDY THE DICTIONARY GUYS. (btw, that word means surgical creation of a connection between the gall bladder and a hepatic duct and between the intestine and the gall bladder.)
2 – You can no longer nap. Gone are the sweet sweet days of 3pm naps after you’ve done a tough 20 minutes of work (ahem). Nope, unless you are unemployed, work in retail, or have a very lenient boss, chances are naps are a thing of the past. You now are actually expected to be AWAKE MOST OF THE DAY. Ridiculous.
3 – Moving on from this, you actually find yourself waking up at 7am at the weekends. That body clock is well and truly tuned into adult timings these days, and even when it’s a Saturday, you still find yourself wide awake at 8am, despite your best efforts to keep your eyes closed.
4 – You realise just how precious the weekends are. You are officially living for the weekend….
5-…and how quickly the weekends go by. Especially if you spend Friday night binge-watching Netflix, followed by a massive night out on Saturday shadowed by a HUGE Sunday hangover. Gotta make those 2 days count my friends.
6 – You have to hear the smug comments from people who didn’t go to uni saying ‘Oh, you’re STILL interning?’ or realising those people who went into employment are now putting deposits down on houses, whilst you’re struggling to pay your mum that £5 you borrowed to get some deodorant. Did I do the right thing here???
7 – You are now bunged into a group called the ‘millennials…generation y…the boomerang generation’, and you are officially deemed lazy, entitled and a scrounger by others (especially The Daily Mail). It doesn’t matter that you went to school, uni, did 10 internships and then got yourself a smashing graduate job. So that’s fair.
8 – You can no longer see your uni friends every day. Long gone are the days of popping round to your mates to watch Made In Chelsea, that person lives 100 miles away, and is a teacher so is probably in bed by 10pm on a Monday. These people are fully fledged adults these days. That guy who you always used to rap Kanye’s bit with in American Boy? He’s an accountant, and has a car on finance. Those girls who you used to eat noodles with for dinner? They’re posting pictures of their avocado brunch on Instagram. People change.
9 – Even worse, some of your friends may STILL BE AT UNI, due to being on a placement year or having had a year abroad. You have to live their final year in a state of depression as you see their pictures upload, or when you wake up at 6:30am and they’re just getting home. Just bide your time, soon they will be graduates too. Mwahaha.
10 – and finally, realising that very very soon, you will be LAST year’s graduates. So, therefore, not a graduate at all. Just a person who graduated from university. But never fear, when you’re using your uni skills to boss your new job, and your social skills to make amazing friendships, and laughing hysterically at uni memories with your old flat mates, you’ll realise it isn’t so bad.
Let’s face it, you can take the girl away from uni, but you can’t take uni away from the girl.