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Wednesday, 18 May 2016

fashions we love, but our boyfriend's hate.



Our partners are there for us through thick and thin. In the tough times, when you’re snotty and weeping about that passive aggressive email you received at work…the ugly times, where you’ve got enough spots for Clearsil to be wiped out of business and you MAY have a wee stain on your pyjama bottoms…and the good times, when you’re feeling super fly and boo sends you flowers just because. 

But there are some things that just don’t fly with our partners. 

I call these ‘the twenty something times’. The times where you, a twenty something sassy woman livin your life like Ricky Martin (AKA, da vida loca), strut your stuff and buy the trends that are straight outta Vogue, and you just know that if you were spotted on Carnaby Street in your attire you’d DEFFO be snapped for a street style… and your partner looks at you like they’re regretting every penny they’ve spent on you. 

You know what I’m talking about right? Like… 

1 – When you wear anything remotely baggy. I can only speak from the experience of a straight woman, but I’ve found that boys do not get the baggy thing. When we think we look crazy sophisticated, chic and almost Parisian in our baggy smock tops and dresses – boys just see sacks of nothing. My boyfriend calls it my ghost outfits. Keep rocking those smocks gals, it definitely makes us feel thinner right? (although photos do not always do this justice, and maybe they’re right when we’re shocked into looking ten sizes bigger than we are)

2 – Lipstick/lipgloss. Whilst we feel like Kylie Jenner, spend all of our wages on different shades of nude lipsticks from Mac, and rock that intense purple shade because we are the bomb… boys aren’t all too fussed. They find it sticky, and some colours just a bit strange. They also hate getting it on their cheeks, it isn’t the stud symbol that boys in grotty clubs love, and it’s actually a bit embarrassing for them. But hey, when Ruby Woo looks THAT good…who cares?!

3 – Creepers, or anything with a platform. I absolutely love my Adidas creeper trainers, and back in the day adored my black creepers. They are edgy, and if Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day wore them – they’re a winner. However, boys tend to associate them with the ‘goth’ culture (which is so hot right now btw) and dismiss you as a descendant of Marilyn Manson. Rock your extra height with pride girls, you got this.

4 – Culottes. They’re baggy. They’re cropped. They may as well be from outer space. Boys simply do not get them, and will never get them. It’s cool, we will never get why they insist on wearing ‘MALAGA ’12: KRAZY BOIZ’ t-shirts 4 year on – some things are not meant to be understood. 

5 – And lastly, jumpsuits and playsuits. I think deep down we don’t get them either, and until they invent them with handy flaps for going to the loo, they will continue to be a bit of a pain…but we can’t resist those floaty playsuits in the Summer, and God don’t we all love a tailored jumpsuit for an office meeting?! Boys however see a glorified onesie. Despite the fact we are all secretly huddled shivering naked in the loo when we rock these garms, let’s not lose sight of the fact that they make us look damn good. 

But…underneath it all, they’re normally good eggs who like all your Instagram photos, tell you you look banging when you head out with the girls, and think you look your best when you’re make up free in your Winnie the Pooh pyjama top from year 8. N’awh – they’re still our faves. 

After all, men are from mars, women are from venus. We don’t have to understand each other, as long as we are happy ourselves. 

Let culottes reign forever.

Until next time xo 

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Sunday, 8 May 2016

the death of the outfit post



these photos were meant to illustrate the new ivy park leotard i bought. i was meant to tell you that i wore it with high waisted jeans and vagabond boots. i was also going to wittingly place an anecdote in here about how i bought it in an XS because i was so desperate for it i couldn't wait for my own size, and although it fit it was definitely snug. i was also supposed to say how it was in topshop, and would look great in the upcoming summer months.

but then i realised, this does not matter anymore.

blogging, if you've been keeping up, has changed. three years ago when i started on this online roller coaster, it was more than enough to upload a grainy iPhone 4 image of yourself standing in your hallway in disco pants and a sequinned crop top, telling the readers this is a 'fab outfit for a night out', and that you'll be posting your make up regime soon. outfit posts were everywhere, and there was no arty murial wall left unphotographed as fashion bloggers everywhere got their pose on.

fast forward to 2016, and it's a very different story.

the days of mediocre photography are gone, and bloggers are almost sneered at if they're photos are taken *snorts* on a PHONE! you need to make sure your photos are edited, taken on an SLR or (most commonly) an Olympus Pen with dat sweet sweet pancake lens* (*no shade - i do this). along side the need for incredible photography, it is rare that you find an outfit post simply explaining the outfit anymore. the copy seems to be more insightful, or commenting on a subject close to the bloggers heart. 

and i have to say, i like this change.

as a young twenty-something working and living in the digital age, i am inspired daily by things i see, hear and read. i'm surrounded by new things everyday, be it at work, or out and about. i have started attending workshops, feminist discussions, reading more, and learning every day. i've realised i need to start articulating these moments more on this page, before i forget them. i wake up most days telling myself 'today is the day i write a book...' or 'today is the day i wear that weird skirt and feel confident...', and i've finally realised that if i am to achieve this little dreams, i can start with being more honest on this blog. fashion fumblings is my online bedroom, and as with your real bedroom, it's due an upgrade...because no one has the same wallpaper that they did when they were seven, do they?

i was 19 when i created this blog, and i mostly did care about what i wore, and why i liked it so much. and don't get me wrong, i still love a good trivial matter. the moment blac chyna announced her pregnancy, i WhatsApped about 5 of my friends HORRIFIED and discussing Kris Jenner's reactions. i get worked up about people parking in my space, and often spend hours worrying if the bacon i just cooked was still raw. i love the dailymail, and deep down i know i'll continue taking outfit posts when it suits me. but i want it to be more than photos. i want you to read what i'm saying. and i want to start being who i am at 23 on this blog.

so let's make a pact - i'll start being a bit better with my copy, and you'll start reading it... ok?

because, quite frankly, i think the world is tired of ripped jeans and floral dresses.

until next time xo 
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Sunday, 24 April 2016

#IRPanel: Friendship


IRL. in real life. one of those new terms that confuse my parents on whatsapp, but to a room of certain individuals, it means everything. friendships, relationships, careers these days are built online, but what happens when these transfer to real life? well. in the case of emma gannon and laura williams, a friendship was born, which led to this - #IRLpanel, a panel hosted by women off the internet.

i wrote about the first ever panel a few months ago (which you can read here) with such gusto and passion, i knew i just HAD to attend the next one. i hadn't felt so excited to write in a long time, and if that stemmed from being in a room with like minded people, i knew that a ticket had to be mine. i was lucky and bagged two tickets to the latest panel which discussed friendship. 

friendship is a touchy subject, especially amongst women. whilst i see myself as lucky to have a strong group of female friends who definitely support me, i have had past friendships which have disintegrated without me even knowing, or even fizzled away leaving bad tastes in both of our mouths and now when we see each other we smirk and turn away. it's not as clear cut as a relationship. what are the rules? well, emma, laura, jade, nadin and lucy (PLEASE CLICK THEIR LINKS AND CHECK THEM OUT. THEY'RE AMAZING. cheers) set out to discuss. 

i've listed the most tweetable quotes of the night, so please feel free to comment and say what friendship is to you. i'd be ever so interested.

friendship is someone to help you navigate the torture of human life.
this made me laugh, and 100% agree. i am british, i am sarcastic, and i am cynical. i am well aware life is not always rainbows and smiles, as the girl in mean girls so eloquently cried. a large amount of my friendships are spent moaning about things. but that's ok with me. we can cry together, we can moan together, but we can also celebrate and be happy together. the up often outweighs the bad. 

the love of my life is my best friend.
this is honestly one of the nicest things i've ever heard, and belongs on greetings cards everywhere. this gem came from nadin, who stated that her number one person in her life is her best friend. it doesn't matter if you don't see them everyday, or even speak everyday, as long as you have that person you would call if you were crying, laughing or any other emotion....you're doing ok.

people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
this is a quote that really resonated with me. it comes from the stem of conversation that people are in your life for defining moments, and sometimes those moments last a lifetime, and other times they may be a year. we all have those friends who, at university or school, you couldn't imagine life without...fast forward, you're 23 and you just gave them a polite smile when you passed them in asda. it happens. but you also get the people who just won't leave...and those ones are pretty special.

social media is testing us to be better friends.
social media is a big deal in friendships. we can all relate to being a little bit peeved if our best friend doesn't remember to write happy birthday on our wall, or seen that a group of friends all went for spontaneous drinks and seemed to forget to extend that invite to you. and we are all guilty on clicking 'maybe' on that event, knowing full well we have no intention of going whatsoever. it's allowed us to get lazy, and instead of talking to each other about problems we simply screenshot pictures and convos that annoy us, and never raise it irl. 

let's stop letting social media do our talking for us, and value our friendships in real life. it's all very well having 60000 friends on Facebook, but when you have no one to call when you get that promotion, it's time to step outside the complacency of social media. 

you can be complicit in the drifting of a friendship. 
this is the one that stuck with me. the awkwardness of a friendship drifting apart can be well known to both parties, but there is a silent contract between you that you won't bring it up, and just let it be. there is no malice, no 'it's not you, it's me' talk. just two friends walking further away from each other, until eventually you can't even remember what it was you had in common in the first place. there doesn't have to be a drama, but in reality it can feel like the worst thing in the world. no one wants to lose friends, but sometimes you can have fulfilled your role in each others lives, and move on. it's ok. it's life. but a hard lesson to learn. 

thank you IRL for continuing to nurture my brain and push me to continue writing. i haven't felt so inspired since i was much younger, and i hope to one day even be on that panel with you. the can do attitude of the ladies makes me think that HELL YEAH i can write that book i've always wanted to write, and ofc one day i can be one that panel. because if they can do it, why can't i?

until next time xo

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we need to talk about lemonade


we often forget how it feels to be truly moved and affected by talent these days. amongst the mindless news of naked selfies, celebrity feuds and other trivial matters that we all involve ourselves in, it can be a shock to the system when we remember the true talent of the celebrities that grace the sidebar of shame daily. sometimes it takes a tragedy of a legend to remember their work, but in this case, it just took one word. 

lemonade. 

twenty four hours ago you'd be excused if lemonade just meant a refreshing carbonated drink to you. but that was then, and in the space of a day queen b herself has taken the term to a new level. lemonade is her latest album offering, presented to us in the form of a visual album that took my breath away. 

i'd be pushed to find a person who doesn't respect beyonce. i've met plenty of people who aren't 'into' her, or think she's overrated...to which i stare gormlessly at, shocked, and forcing them to watch her Super Bowl performances. i am a beyonce advocate, and she could sing baa baa black sheep and i'd probably weep. but lemonade feels different to me. it feels like finally, beyonce has become relatable. 

beyonce is a superstar. a seemingly untouchable woman who does no wrong. a woman who oozes star quality, with a power house voice and the rhythm to match. her interviews and carefully edited documentaries present her as a woman with spiritual depth, but i will admit i've never felt connected to her. she's so media trained, and her brand is so perfected and well oiled, i never felt she could slip or present herself as anything less than perfect.

that's until lemonade.

lemonade is a visual concept album full of insecurities, crazy thoughts, depression, anxiety, anger, revenge. beyonce roars as she screams 'this is your final warning, you know i give you life.' her voice is not perfect, it growls and trembles as her emotions come to the surface. lemonade takes you on beyonce's journey of (presumably) unfaithfulness, and with each chapter i felt more and more like she'd taken every woman's heartbreak and written it down. intuition. denial. anger. sorry. emptiness. accountability. reformation. forgiveness. resurrection. freedom. redemption. each chapter telling her own story of love and heartbreak. 

jay z and beyonce are a well oiled machine, and i am not in anyway naive to the pr job at work here. but, in my eyes, it's her way of settling the rumours of their turbulent marriage her way. beyonce is a woman of fierce power, the total boss of any room she enters. the media and tabloids are one thing she cannot control, and her dignified silence on rumours (hello solange in the elevator...) has ultimately been leading to this moment. the freedom to tell her own story. a chance for her to direct how these events felt to her. fantasise her emotions into a film, which may now distance her from the reality she lived in as she wrote. 

but why now? beyonce's albums in the past have alluded to the dishonesty in her life. 'ring the alarm', 'mine', 'why don't you love me' all feel like they could have belonged on lemonade. but, like any woman, perhaps the time wasn't right. perhaps these were stories she didn't feel completely ready to tell. it was still raw. but now, after seemingly coming out the other side, she feels ready to dictate exactly how it went down. narrate it the way she wants to, now she has forgiven whoever broke her heart. it is only when you can truly remove yourself from something that you can articulate it into something that feels real, and this is what lemonade has become for beyonce. it is her truth. and i feel that the album ending on formation, and it being the first song she shared with us from this new era, speaks volumes. she is already reformed, and now she is ready to share with us how she got there.

it's not black and white. like any love story, there are twists and turns in lemonade that often make you forget who you're rooting for. 'hold up' you want to be there with beyonce smashing her the car of the person who let you down, but 'sorry' (whilst sassy as hell) shows you there are two sides to every story. i don't doubt that beyonce played this man at his own game, avenging his betrayal with her own games. two wrongs don't make a right. but the emotive 'sandcastles' tenderly reminds you that love is complicated, and perhaps there is room for forgiveness if it's worth fighting for. 

lemonade is not just important for beyonce's soul, and the way it has already become a pillar of musical importance, but it has so many more themes running in the visual album that are of paramount importance. raising awareness for black lives and the racial tensions, family issues and dealing with childhood anxieties... it's full of importance on levels i still haven't discovered. it is not just another trivial pop album. it's one we will discuss in schools, universities, lectures for years to come.

beyonce sings 'i'm not too perfect to ever feel this worthless.' a lyric that turned her from a superstar, to a real woman for me. if you do one thing today, watch her visual album. then listen to the music. you won't regret it.

phew. i'll calm down now.

until next time xo
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